Valentine’s Day – from TheBetterExBoyfriend.com column (2007)

It was today, two days before Valentine’s Day that I was connecting two of my single friends for the big day; two ladies I add. My one friend said to me, “Damn! our society is all I have to say,” as she declared her apathy toward St. Valentine’s Day. I replied to her, “We love Valentine’s Day when we have someone; quite the opposite when we don’t. I am all aboard with the flip flopping of emotions associated with the holiday. I would, however, like to spend it with the same person two years in a row.”

And then I thought about it. I have spent the holiday with the same person two years in a row; in fact, no matter who else I invited to the party, it has been twenty-eight years in a row that I’ve spent Valentine’s Day with the love of my life – ME! It was Oscar Wilde who said “To love one’s self is the beginning of a life-long romance.” I’m not saying that adopting Mr. Wilde’s approach is going to make the annoying jewelry commercials easier to bare, but when it comes down to it, you should be as happy spending the love day (or any day) with yourself as you would with a lover; or gather up your other single friends and go to the latest romantic comedy release, enjoy a champagne dinner or an evening at the spa with each other.

Valentine’s Day isn’t going anywhere and the good thing is you know when it’s coming every single year. No surprises. Sitting around waiting to be depressed on Valentine’s Day is the same thing as not reminding people that it’s your birthday and then getting mad when no one says Happy Birthday.

You can choose to make the best of the day.

Break-up songs – from TheBetterExBoyfriend.com column (2007)

It was summer 1996 when I became a scorned woman. I was 18, my heart was broken and I had an anthem: Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know. Truth be told, I wasn’t physically intimate with the guy. I wasn’t scratching my nails down anyone’s back. He didn’t tell me he’d hold me until he died. There were no random acts of “you know what” in a theater. However, for some reason I felt connected to the anger she so clearly expressed through her lyrics. I was rejected; I wasn’t chosen. So whenever it played, and especially when he was around, my friend and I would perform it as though we were Alanis in the video. I’m sure we looked crazy. Music and relationships are like Marc Antony and Cleopatra; Sid and Nancy; Mickey and Minnie; they just fit!

Things I dislike about Facebook

These are things that just bother me about Facebook and how people, including me, use it.

1. All the free publicity and advertising certain products, web sites and writers get from us sharing and liking. I should be getting paid for all this info I’m sharing and promoting!

2. Accepting a friend request from a dude I hope to date on the same day that I meet him. Sure we just met 15 minutes ago, but, uh uh! We shouldn’t be Facebook friends yet. What if we don’t work out? Am I supposed to just let you keep spying on my life because I’m too silly to unfriend you? No. But I’ve done it. Haven’t a lot of us? Silly.

3. Arguments on my statuses with people I do know. Arguments on my status between two of my friends who do or don’t know each other. Can’t we all just get along or at least not argue via status comments?

4. Getting caught on a thread with a racist. Ruh oh (or however you spell the sound Astro makes).

5. When someone I never hear from on Facebook suddenly posts a negative comment on something they disagree with or dislike. Huh? Where the hell have you been? Why the hell do you have something to say now?

6. Stalkers. People who never comment on anything, but they seem to know everything that’s going on with me when they see me in real life. What?!

7. If I post a link or video, then my friend reposts it without even commenting on my original post. I don’t know why this bugs me, but it does. I still love everyone who does it though. I do it too. But you could at least “like” it before you repost it.

8. Discovering that 99% of the FB population (I’m exaggerating) doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re; it’s and its; who’s and whose; and their, they’re and there. People, there’s a Facebook group for it.

9. Instead of having to write to someone to say I like their comment, I can simply just “Like” it, thus furthering my lack of interaction and communication. I was one those who pushed for a “like” option on comments. Oops.

10. If you don’t watch it, Facebook has been found to make people feel like losers as they’re scrolling through their friends’ statuses reading about their perfect, happy lives.

I’m sure there are more. I will add them as they come to me. I’m working on a list of things I LOVE about Facebook too.

Quotes: Mark Twain

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends.”

kisses, embraces, hellos and goodbyes

Below is a series of photos I took with my camera and iPhone of people kissing and embracing throughout Italy and England. I didn’t start taking shots of couples kissing and embracing until I got to Italy; however, I did witness an awesome kiss between two young men at Gare de Nord train station in Paris. I mean this kiss was so passionate, even straight men stopped to stare.

I’ve never witnessed public displays of affection like I did throughout Italy and was surprised to see it continue when I went on to London. I missed some really, really good shots for reasons ranging from I couldn’t get my camera ready and they were just too damn fast for me, I couldn’t get a clear shot, I didn’t have my camera or I just couldn’t get the shot and remain inconspicuous. There were at least a dozen other shots I could have taken.

I will continue this series wherever I am. I enjoy capturing these moments. Hold your cursor over the photo for location info and other details. Happy Valentine’s Day. xo

Quotes – Thich Nhat Hanh

“If you do not give right attention to the one you love, it is a kind of killing. When you are in the car together, if you are lost in your thoughts, assuming you already know everything about her, she will slowly die.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

some of my favorite photos

From top to bottom: Piazza Maggiore in Bologna, Italy; Monte Carlo, Monaco; Sunset in Naples, Italy; Positano, Italy; Potato Tortellini from Librarie Brac, Florence, Italy; Bruschetta from Loving Hut, Menton, France; Chocolate cake from Loving Hut, Menton; Sunset in Nice, France; Eiffel Tower, Paris (taken with iPhone)